I'd like to think he looks like a 26 year old Financial Analyst under that helmet

A while ago, my wife asked me why I liked video games. This question came after she asked me about something regarding trash cans outside, I dunno I wasn’t listening. Surprisingly, she rolled her eyes when I told her that this wireless white controller was the closest thing I’ll get to killing actual aliens in a Spartin II MJOLNIR powerd assault armor.

I think now that the question was rhetorical.

This gave me the idea of making a list of steps you can follow that will insure a happy marriage while still defending the universe against the Covenant Alien Race.  No woman wants the death of a universe on her conscious, so really this is more for her than for you.  And if you are a woman who plays video games, you don’t need to read this, you just need to start holding seminars for other women on the weekend.

And yeah, the trashcans are still outside.

Here’s the List:

Plenty of Warning

We have a google calendar

I will say that video games, to most women, represent the absence of their man.  ”Eyes Glazed, brain off.”  This thought does not anger female humans all the time, but it is a pet peeve when experienced unexpectedly.  Giving your woman heads-up, helps them ready themselves for a zombie-like being sitting on their couch.  Like a scare crow, this being, adorned in old warn-out clothing, can be used to ward off unwanted visitors.  It also frees up the evening for the woman to do girlie things… Nail Painting, Shoe Blogging, Long Email Writing, Celeb Gossib Reading, Reality Show Watching, and anything else women like doing.  These feminine activities can be done all while you’re sniping safely in a tall brush on MW2.

Girls Night Out

These women in the picture are not proportionate

She needs a girls night out doesn’t she?  This idea makes sense in two ways:

1. You look like a thoughtful man
2. She is out of the house, leaving you free to unravel the mystery of Halo ODST.

Here’s what you do:

• Get in touch with a few of her close friends and find a time after work when they’re free to meet
• check your woman’s calendar to make sure she’s not busy
• confirm with the friends
• Let her know
• And enjoy a house filled only with the sounds of computer simulated semi-automatic rifle fire.

Sure this is more elaborate, but oh man it pays off big time for future gaming times.

Wine and Volume

Mimi's Cafe has the best wine servings... hands down!

Ok, this one is not nearly as thoughtful as happy hour. Basically chill on the couch and watch whatever she wants on TV for a while, and enjoy a few glasses of red wine.  Eventually, because of her smaller body mass she’ll fall asleep, and you can turn your x-box on. Warning: The tough part with this one is you have to keep the volume down and you might be drunk …so you’ll suck.

Invest in a Wii

Most every woman doesn’t play video games because they suck at them.  It is scientifically proven.  However, Wii is full of games that are kinda fun for us, and because they’re like bowling and golf they make them feel UBER good about themselves. Your woman will want to play these and eventually she’ll feel much better about you playing your games.

ha google's first picture when you type in girl playing wii is kinda Asian... google you're stereotyping

Have a kid

Preferably a boy, and eventually use that as “Father/Son” time.

yeah the sky is pretty cuz we pollute... ironic huh

What do you think?  How do you play video games and keep the woman in your life happy?  Are you a woman who has some tips on how we can keep you happy and play video games? Or maybe you think I’m wrong about all these tactics, leave your comment below. And are you a fan yet?? Or Have you subscribed?